Mark 8:35 Mark 8:35 TLB – If you insist on saving your life, you – Bible Gateway
I am working on a song. I want it to be the right kind of encouragement for the world.
I like blackholes, and warm fires. I do not like tempting African Americans in the wrong ways. Being successful is tempting. I am not a KKK member. I do want white people protected. I do not like that wearing a white shirt might set me to KKK, a green shirt might set me to flagging, sending a coded message (a go signal). I like the color orange, I do not want my song to be tied to either political party and it seems like if you don’t use blue at times, you are seen as a fire starter, not water.
I do not want to take away from significance of September 11th, 2001, or October 7th, 2023 – it feels like if the world keeps having events like these, making content will die a slow death.
I want to do right by people, hard in times like these, and as far as I can tell since 1983 the year I was born, hard times are in by design.
I feel like I could partially release the song – no guarantee I will see tomorrow, yet it is still a work in progress, want to iron out details. More details might lead to more refined, less able to be type casted as something bad. Abstract art is in by design equates to people have potential to represent things in ways the artist didn’t intend.
What is being done against my life does not lead to feeling of ideal leverage out. Ideal leverage out would be more ideal for work of any kind, including art – I don’t want to be a byproduct of the oppression. I am not sure society will ever be ideal oppression out.
I know people have had early access to my recordings, my work at times. While I like being protected on the world stage it feels like it has the potential to push me in particular directions, might not be ideally invested in my profit and success outside of my safety. People might be safe in jail, life is more than safety. I need a world, society that is more than watch and punish, people that don’t speak up, create conversation then wait for others to step over the line is not the future I would want for anyone.
Finding a super model and moving to a snow cabin sounds nice. Constantly in the middle of systemic oppression, a system that does not seem to ideally correct itself overtime is taxing. Move somewhere I can’t be hit sounds good, might not be ideal other people hit out. I have been put on the street enough times, had enough oppression against my life to say being hit is not good for me. I don’t really feel like God has been delivering on my prayers for peace and protection.
I don’t know who has been messing with me. I don’t feel like they are really invested in real dignity for my life. Reduce support, claim forgiveness, have wrongs perceived then fall into same trap. Looks like leads to apathy leads to looks like on repeat – to I question if God has my best interest at heart. And I don’t want them to owe it.
There is good case to be made for younger musicians can run further with it – haven’t ironed out all the details (might be too close to other songs). Owe let blessed.
When I say I want white people protected, I don’t mean I want other people not protected, less protected. Being able to say you want someone protected factors into capacity to protect. Arian race, might be set to a Nazi – not all pretty.
There are amazing people of all colors and creeds, just because I might not know how awesome they are does not equate to they aren’t providing critical support that factors into support today and in the future.
I believe in God, I don’t know how to A it. And with James 4:17 and Be Perfect kind of feels like always in sin, never really in.
I feel trapped in this city
Limited access to passport, repeatedly iffed finances. I want God to answer my prayers yet I do not feel like He always does.
I wish I hadn’t gone to the strip club, now my finances are more in question. Was nice to have company for a little while, been allot of silence in my life.
Not sure if my stomach will ever get better. Been praying for healing hasn’t seemed to be getting all better. Alcohol somes helps my brain relax, makes my stomach hurt less for a time then more for a time.
If God doesn’t help me fix my finances I will likely be put on the street. I am really tired of being tested, not seeing real up and progress in my life.
Parts of the city feel like there is no real outlet. Dead ends and limited sidewalks gives less feeling of free. It was nice to have a break from wars and iffed finances, have cats to take care of for a while. Life has a tendency towards progress when really some of the better days are with less.
Haven’t felt like real up, real potential for up in a while. Health problems on repeat, no real conversation on most days.
I try to row progress. I see injustice in society, criminal justice, in the way products are made, in global warming, in knowledge and access to knowledge – probably a body count larger than anyone wants on their shoulders. Try to make progress and things get heavier hurts.
I have no high ground to stand on, and feels like I need to claim high ground to survive. Life as a farce.
If I reinforce A, the same systems that are in place before – not all death out. If I don’t reinforce A, others problems, problems new, old, and different – not all death out. God that forgives sins with feelings of no way to truly min.
Men and Women choose A not all pretty, don’t choose A not all pretty. If that is A, comprehension of that is A, A is not all pretty.
A document that tries to raise comprehension, always more ideal? A not all A, not all Never Say Die, You will prevail!
But will things get better? “Without a doubt” is a better thought, the more true thought?
People don’t always paint truth, and we paint A with that? Sufficient knowledge to make decisions – I hope.
Could be a cool song, the misery it is wrapped in might equate to never heard
I liked the blender animation, I think another blender animation might bring more peace, letting orange being capitalized on as evil doesn’t feel all good
I could have used blue, I choose to use blue many times, afraid to make a fire to warm my family would be wrong (even if I don’t have a fire place)
Limited support, including limited brain power from self factors into delivery
Thoughts of Prisoners being released from prison, garbage fire of homeless, celestial blackhole I might be throne into, thoughts of stove fire left on too long, thoughts of mosh pits and dangers of mosh pits, Thoughts of warm beats dead hope we as society didn’t do too much damage to them
If this could lead to a million dollars or homeless off the street, homeless off the street is better. Damage over time – time as a blackhole, fire as damage – too obvious?
8 billion plus people, similar has been created before, free starter video
Understand the complexity of delivery? It’s a gift.
A white man squirming under the underpass – could be me. If I could give money to them I would, if I was them, I would be too prideful to ask for help in advance. Blessed are the peacemakers, make peace with that. Too F row A fee.
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