Ex girlfriends

People are trying to make me think my ex girlfriends are responsible for some thing they are likely not.  Easy to think the worst about how your exes would treat you going forward.  I severed ties with them so we could both move forward with our lives un impeded.  Still not sure if that was the perfect answer.  Friends with ex girlfriends are a bit like hedging your bet in my opinion.  What happens as soon as things go bad?   When it seems like I have been continuously thrown under the bus I have questioned why this is happening.

I would really appreciate people not using my ex girlfriends against me.  It is bad for mercy, bad for thinking the best in people, and bad for them and everyone around all of us.  I want them to be happy and successful.  I also want to be able to go on dates and move forward with my life.

It appears the pursuit of happiness is dead in this country. At least with the leverage placed upon my life.  I would like to think better of Google and the other companies involved.  They are likely leveraged too.  What happens if one of my friends gets cancer?  How am I supposed to be there for them when things are like this?  There are clearly some events and problems in life that supersede my deviation from my ex girlfriends lives.  I reiterate that while I want to move forward with my life I also want them to be happy and successful.  I can’t say at the time of break ups I thought this way.  Takes some time to want the best for people who you loved that walked out of your life.  Think some of that comes with age.

So if someone is sick, or in trouble ( trouble can mean anything from depression to jail time etc) please don’t feel like you can’t contact me.  Just please don’t use it as a hope for another relationship.  This applies mainly to women I actually called my girlfriend in the past.  Some women have been in my life only for a short time, the door for friendship is open though in the past I have tried to keep friends very close.  So I am not sure what to call people that I want what is best for their lives yet I can’t really be that close to because I don’t want to derail their relationships or ambitions.

At the end of the day, I am a man.  I am imperfect.  I know I could fall into bad decision making if I put myself in the wrong situations.  Just by existing, possibilities exist of making bad decisions.  So treat me as such.  A woman that uses another woman to test whether I am faithful might make me lose faith in the woman I am with.  I have been tested continuously for years.  At a certain point tests start becoming a form of abuse.

I realize there are some I don’t agree with today.  I realize they are men and women who God made as well.  If we don’t agree today that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for reconciliation and agreement tomorrow.  Some decisions might branch our life paths.  I still want the best for them.

Might have been wiser to follow up a bit later, though sometimes it takes time and life experiences to give everyone a clearer picture.

Would be nice to settle differences in shorter time in the future. Not sure the perfect answer on all this.  Knowing who to trust, what to trust, why to trust, and who to trust what with isn’t easy.  And still wanting the best for everyone.  All while sitting in silence and feeling like my prayers keep going unanswered.  I care.  What I can do to add value I don’t always know.  Problem with leadership who is working an angle and who can you trust?  Even the best leaders need close emotional support.  It is weird feeling like I am a leader yet I am not.

Hopefully I am adding some value to the conversation.