Cheating

 Remember some people can win the lottery.  Some people can lose just as dramatically.  Some people that win don’t deserve it and some people that lose don’t deserve it.  Grace, Love, and Mercy is not something we earn or deserve and we all need it sometimes.  When that truth is realized reconciliation is easier and harsh judgment harder.  So if someone cheats on me I should forgive them.  Doesn’t mean it doesn’t change things and I should still want the best for them in life.  Finding a humble partner in life is wise.  Pride and hubris might make them think going up to that hotel room for another drink is fine “they can handle it”.  Just innocent flirting, no bid deal?  Sometimes the mistakes don’t happen if we don’t think we are above making them ourselves.  A couple drinks, someone slipping someone drugs, health problems, could all make people think that is a better idea.  A family could be ruined by a third party.  Ideally people shouldn’t have to deal with all these problems just to go have a drink at a bar.  Seems that is not the case in this world.  

Sadly the potential for some opportunities present themselves in places that have options for more dubious behavior.  The beach can give a day of fun for a lot of people.  It also creates opportunities for those not watching closely enough.  Overly controlling people can create the same problem.  Feeling like your suffocating can lead you anywhere in search of air.  Nobody likes to feel trapped and nobody wants to lose their partner to the roll of the dice.  Finding that balance is difficult.  Even the most trustworthy person could likely make a mistake due to winning the wrong kind of lotto.  Nobody deserves to be another person’s doormat either.

My advice would be if something is a one time thing and the person is repentant forgive them.  Ideally we would make better choices going forward, though external factors might have been the cause in which case the initial choices really didn’t matter.  If the choices were the problem, then make sure we are making better ones in the future.  If people insist on making same choices that are rolling the dice against the relationship.  If the message has been said and communicated effectively, part paths vs being a doormat.  Pray that God give someone the right words to say to them before it gets to that point.  Don’t be legalistic on this, telling something to someone resentfully or passive aggressively won’t make things better.  Don’t hold their mistakes against them and don’t be afraid to call it how it is.  Just make sure whatever you say is out of love and not resentment.  Also remember people change and grow over time.  Don’t hold past resentment and be careful of the words you use to describe the situation at the time.

Don’t listen to once a cheater always a cheater.  Like saying once a liar always a liar.  Also don’t use that as an excuse to cheat, not everyone is so forgiving in this world.